The best things in life are free!

The best things in life most certainly are free! 


Case study 1: A few weeks ago myself and Yas ended up getting our hands on two free tickets to Des Bishop's Madrid gig. We were waiting outside the door and a guy just handed them to us and told us that he had two spare! It was a brilliant gig and we ended up meeting him afterwards and inviting him to the James Joyce for breakfast and to watch the Irish match too!

Sound chap!

Speaking of free tickets... Case study 2: On my last night in the Irish bar I started talking to a guy from America who turned out to be the Special FX engineer for nothing other than Cirque du Soleil who had just arrived in Madrid for their new show. After a bit of a chat, he offered me two tickets in exchange for a pint. 

Job done. 

Best pint swap I've ever made... But more about that in a moment.

I just had the loveliest few days with the lovely Miss Blue Ruin who popped over for a little visit. A few pub crawls with free tapas, some wonderful veggie food, the odd bit of karaoke, Goya, museums, some beautiful vintage dresses and a trip to the Cirque. Miss Ruin, I had forgotten how much I missed you! Thanks for such a great few days! xxx

Anyway... Back to Cirque! We popped out to El Lago to walk to the Madrid Arena where we were greeted by what looked like whordes (I'm not being politically incorrect- there is a d!) of apocalyptic zombies. Turned out they were the ladies of the night who frequently haunt the area. 

We got to the Arena and were dying for a drink and a bite for eat. We headed to the bar and were told that they weren't serving food or drinks... Strange...

We distracted ourselves from our growling tummies by realising how amazing our seats were... The 11th row from the front- almost in the centre. Feckin class. 

The show was absolutely breathtaking. It had everything that you would expect from Cirque and more. My only complaint was that there was sometimes so many things happening on the stage so you didn't know where to look! 

I finally got around to developing my first picture from a manual black and white camera- not quite as good as the rainbow one, but I love it!

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On another, entirely unrelated note... An interesting article caught my eye today. US Congress has ruled that pizza is indeed a vegetable. 

According to dictionary.com, a vegetable is:

veg·e·ta·ble

   [vej-tuh-buhl, vej-i-tuh-]  Show IPA

noun

1.

any plant whose fruit, seeds, roots, tubers, bulbs, stems,leaves, or flower parts are used as food, as the tomato,bean, beet, potato, onion, asparagus, spinach, orcauliflower.

2.

the edible part of such a plant, as the tuber of the potato.

3.

any member of the vegetable kingdom;  plant.

4.

Informal . a person who is so severely impaired mentally orphysically as to be largely incapable of conscious responsesor activity.

5.

a dull, spiritless, and uninteresting person.

I'm not quite sure which of these categories the pizza fits into...

According to the congress, the amount of tomato sauce in pizza allows it to be classified as a vegetable. I pose the question, if I take a chocolate Santa Clause and spoon it full of tomato sauce, does that make it a vegetable?

If I take a steak and inject it with over two spoons of tomato sauce, does that make it vegetarian? There you go vegetarians, a veggie steak!

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I've been shocked quite a few times since I arrived to the country. A few weeks ago, I saw a man who had been stabbed to death outside of my apartment. Two weeks ago I was on the metro to university and couldn't figure out why we were stopped for so long in the Moncloa station. All of a sudden, the driver's voice came onto the loud speaker and told us to get off the train. Then I realised why. A woman had jumped from the platform onto the tracks of the oncoming train and had been killed. 

Not something you want to see. Everyone was eventually cleared from the station and I had to try and find my way to the university. I had never been at the station in Moncloa before and spent an hour and a half wandering around in the rain trying to find the university- without throwing up. Never before had I wanted a cup of tea so badly. For about two days after that I didn't feel right. It's hard to imagine what was going through the poor woman's head. 

On the same day, there was an accident at a bus station in Madrid. Two buses collided and crushed a man in his 60s between them. A friend of my roommate was in the station at the time and compared it to a balloon exploding. I believe that the man died later that week from severe head and rib injuries and internal bleeding. 

**********

Today I was on the metro again on the way home from university and was lucky enough to get a seat. At the next stop, a very elderly woman got on. No one got up to offer her a seat, so I gave her mine. At the next stop I was lucky to get another seat, which again was promptly given to an elderly deaf man- again no one else would get up. At the next stop I managed to get the seat beside the elderly man. A blind man with a guide dog then tried to get on the train and no one would get out of his way. I had to ask two people to move for him. He sat on the other side of the elderly man and proceeded to ask the man to let him know when we had arrived at Legazpi. The deaf man didn't hear him and the blind man continued asking him and talking to him- a bit like Hear No Evil, See No Evil! I leaned over to tell him how many stops we were from the station and his Labrador leaned over and started resting his head on my knee! He was such a lovely little dog! 

I couldn't believe the amount of people on just one train, on one journey that were willing to ignore an elderly lady, an elderly deaf man and a blind man! At least I feel like I did my good deeds of the day!

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In other good news, I'm after managing to secure a tattoo appointment with the fantastic El Bara of True Love Tattoo in Madrid. The guy has a waiting list of over 5 months! He is so worth it!

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In even better news, I've moved all of my exams to December, so that means a whole month in Ireland during January- including my 21st, which Mammy has gone and organised for me! All I need to do is get myself a dress and some pretty shoes!

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Have a lovely weekend!

To end with a nice little quote... here's one of my own...

When you see a shooting star, for that one moment, all that matters is who is holding your hand...

Bit of this, bit of that...

Popped along to El Ser Creativo this morning- fecking brilliant, so it was!


It's a congress and a conference of the world's most brilliant minds- it's literal translation is The Creative Being. It was so interesting hearing what these people had to say about today's topic- The Power of Freedom. The key speakers featured Wang Xiaoping, Bernard Henri-Lévy, Dambisa Moyo and Shirin Ebadi. It was actually quite humbling to be in the same room as these people!


El Ser Creativo invites celebrated minds from all over the globe to come to the conference and to speak about the proposed topic for 21 minutes (the average time that the human brain can concentrate for). I have to say I was a little bit miffed during the first half of the conference because I slept awfully last night and accidentally fell asleep for a few minutes of it...


Dambisa Moyo is absolutely inspirational! I wish she could run for Irish president... She'd be a bit more with it than Dana. I can understand her African accent better than I can understand Dana too!


I also got some pretty notebooks which is always a plus!

You can never have too many!

I finally got around to taking my photos with black&white film for Photography class. We're going to start developing them in class today- let's hope there's at least one decent photo in the lot of them! 

Maybe something like this one...

On another note, completely unrelated to anything else... 

I walked through a sprinkler today to feel rain . . . 

It felt like walking through a rainbow . . .

A few thoughts...

I freakin' love Irish soda bread. I had a major craving for it over the last few days, couldn't buy it anywhere so I headed out last night and after looking in 9 different shops, I finally had my ingredients. Apparently the Spanish don't use brown flour...? I made a massive loaf and I tasted home. I even woke up extra early this morning so that I'd have time to have a cupán té with a hunk of bread!


I walked Madrid today to find a cheap, second hand copy of Wuthering Heights. I didn't find it, but what I did find was an amazing little bar with a second hand bookshop. You can sit and read or swap your own books for their books! Anywhere with beer and books has my vote. They didn't have what I was looking for so I settled for Jane Austen's Emma instead.

I also gave up my job in the Irish bar today so I can focus on giving English lessons to children. Much more fun and at €20 an hour you can't really argue with that! If anyone has any ideas for games or lesson plans they'd be much appreciated!

My roommate read a rather interesting article on a Romanian website today. I've taken the liberty of translating it using Google Chrome's built in translator so you can have the pleasure of reading it. Geddit?? Pleasure?? Onion?? NO???.....

At least it was a red onion. It shows that she has more expensive taste...


We got a phone call from the landlord today to say that she had recieved a complaint about noise coming from the apartment last night. Yasmin was sleeping, I was studying and Lucian was talking quietly on Skype. Our apartment was actually constructed with paper. The landlord told us that from now on, if we want to talk, we have to do it in the sitting room with all the doors closed.
I wouldn't mind but I often feel like banging on the neighbours' wall! Who starts DIY at 6am?? Crazy Spaniards! That's who!


On another note...

I'm coming home for Hallowe'en!

Just the slightest bit excited!

Right bus... Wrong direction...

Ok, so I still haven't gotten my head around the public transport system...

For the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out how to get home from work in the bar at night. Once the Metro finishes at 1:30am, the public transport system can be a no man's land- unless you want to pay €15 for a taxi! For weeks I had bar staff suggesting different bus numbers at me until I finally decided on the L5. 

I was dead proud of myself after finally finding the bus stop. I checked the route on the notice board and everything! I even asked if it was the stop for the L5- and it was! 

I got on the bus and enjoyed the view of the city. For the first time in ages I was getting to see the city from above the ground! 

Over an hour passed and I still hadn't recognised any of the sights. Eventually the bus pulled up in the middle of nowhere and everyone got out. I headed up to the driver and asked where we were. When I told him I wanted Carabanchel he laughed at me. 

He made me get off the bus and get back on and pay again! I had to wait on the bus for half on hour while he got up and took a piss against the side of the bus. 

Eventually we headed back in the direction of Carabanchel. I learned that bus seats are extremely slippery. I fell asleep about 5 times and once I fell off the seat onto the floor when he braked suddenly. 

I finished work at 2 and got home after 5am. Google maps says it's a 17minute drive.

If you want to grab public transport in Madrid, know which direction you're heading in!

Culture Shock: Adjustment Phase?

According to the internationally renowned source of information Wikipedia, Culture Shock is an actual thing!

Apparently the first phase, known as the Honeymoon Phase is the period during which everything smells like roses. Sounds like my first week in the country. I bloody loved it. 

Then came the Negotiation Phase. This one isn't as nice. It's when you realise, "Shit, what am I doing here?"

After that comes the Adjustment Phase where you get yourself into a routine and begin to think that you can cope- according to Wikipedia, this phase normally comes after about 6-12 months. Could it be that I am in this zone already? I was always a quick one!

Soon after the Adjustment Phase comes the Mastery Phase- Not quite there yet but I plan on it!

Like I said, the first few weeks were horrible (that's Spanish for horrible) but I'm beginning to feel a bit more relaxed now. The last time that Jack left to go back to Ireland, I wanted to get on the plane after him and go home, but I had a bit of a problem getting past security... 

He came over to visit again on the 4th October and I had the most fantastic week with him. I was dreading saying goodbye, but it was a bit easier than the first time- probably because I was on the way to college and I had to hop off the Metro while he stayed on to head to the airport and I didn't actually realise he was gone for a few hours! I only cried like a little waterfall instead of Niagra this time!

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in the sun in the courtyard of the university, smelling the lovely bush (it smells like lavender but it's not lavender...) and listening to the little green parrots squawking in the tree above me. I could get used to this- if it was in Ireland!

Headed to the Casa de Campo zoo last Sunday. It was fantastic- a must see if you're in Madrid. The animals made me happy. The elephants made me sad. Most of the enclocures are pretty impressive and spacious but the elephants just look miserable in theirs. I'd love to take them home and look after them but I don't know how to get them up the stairs. 

Isn't this the most beautiful baby gorilla you have ever seen?

Hi!

Speaking of animals, I've now decided to move onto a more topical and important subject. We all know how exciting it is to adopt a new pet, but they can often be more work than we anticipated. If you are looking for hard work, forget about adopting a pet and instead...

ADOPT AN ERASMUS!

Some jumbled up thoughts...

Such a crazy few days that I think it would be better to start at the most recent events and work my way back...

4/10/2011- Tuesday

Even without anything that happened this morning (it's not even 1pm yet) today was already due to be a bit of a crazy day. Daddy's going in for his operation at some time today (don't know the time so I'm going a little bit crazy here. Maybe it's better not to know it?) so they can take his kidney. 

I always wondered, what happens after you have a bit removed? What do they do with it? Is there a crazy person searching the bins for human parts in order to recreate a Franken-style monster? 

On top of that, Jack's finally arriving tonight for a week... I've been counting down the days and I can't wait to see him again!

When I left my apartment at 9:20am my head was a little all over the place, worrying about the operation but also excited about seeing Jack- or at least it was until I saw the police car parked outside my front door. 

I walked around the corner (only a few metres from the front door) and saw a crowd gathering, 5 ambulances and 3 police cars. Outside the 'Los Guerrilleros' shoe shop, the police were removing a police tent and covering a body with a foil blanket. I stopped to ask a few people what was going on, but no one seemed to know. A few minutes later I kept walking and nearly stepped in a pool of blood that was left uncovered. I've spent the last 3 hours asking people and checking the news to see what happened- but no one seems to know anything. There's nothing on the news either. If anyone hears anything, please let me know because it's a little bit unnerving to see a dead body almost on your doorstep. 

03/10/2011- Monday

Yesterday morning I was running late for college, ran from the Metro to class and arrived at 3 minutes past 12. There was no one there. Checked the timetable and realised I was half an hour early. Decided to relax and get my emails and stuff sorted before class. At 12:40 there was still no one. I went to the concierge's office and asked if I was in the right room. Turns out I was. Gave up and went outside. Met a girl from the class (quite remarkable since there are only 4 of us in the whole class!) and she told me that we don't have class on a Monday anymore. Great. Went to the library to get work done. Internet wasn't working. Silly HP. Eventually got it sorted 4 hours later by a technician, and then a few minutes later got a message saying that my fan is basically dying. Now my WLAN keeps turning itself off. Grrr.

Last night, met up with Esther in Sol and had a fantastic evening- finally got to see how beautiful Madrid is at night! Yas, Jack and Dan, you're all in for a treat tonight!

02/10/2011- Saturday

Ok, I know I skipped Sunday but Sunday wouldn't make any sense without Saturday. On Friday night before I went to bed I closed the shutters in my room so there was absolutely no light whatsoever. The following morning I woke up a few times, saw it was still dark and went back to sleep- completely forgetting that the shutters were closed! I got a text at 1:30pm and woke up raging that someone was texting me in the middle of the night- I was so confused when my phone said 1:30pm! I was completely disorientated for the rest of the day when I got to work! 

That evening (after a crazy day at work) myself and Yas headed out to see Des Bishop gigging in Teatro Alfi! (Excitement!)

On the way in a guy said he had two free tickets and just gave them to us- noice! Never laughed so much in my life as I did during the gig. We ended up meeting with Des afterwards and chatted for a while- turned out he was looking for somewhere to watch the Irish rugby match so we told him about the James Joyce...

02/10/2011- Sunday

... where he popped in for breakfast the next day! 

Sunday was crazy. Absolutely crazy. 

I didn't realise 24 men on a stag-do could be so much hard work. 

A groups of Scottish guys arrived and spent a few hours outside drinking- until one of them asked if they could have the private function room. The boss agreed on the condition that they put on their shirts if they were coming into the bar. 

As they were walking through the bar to the back room, I told them they had to put their shirts on... When I walked into the room a few minutes later (carrying 41 glasses of beer...) every single one of them was sitting there without a shirt and a guy in a pair of Speedos jumped up and hugged me. 

The noise from the room got louder and they got messier. The boss agreed to give them 10 baskets of chips for free as long as they didn't leave the room without any clothes on.

A few minutes later I walked in and there was a naked man doing handstands in the middle of the room- or at least he was until he slipped in beer and landed sprawled on the floor as naked as the day he was born. 

A few minutes after that, I went in and they had lined up the tables in a row and had covered them in olive oil... and were sliding along them naked. They then realised that I was finished my shift (I told them that since I was finished, I didn't care how much of a mess they made) and then I was set upon by naked, oily, beer soaked men asking me to have a few drinks with them. That was grand until they started hugging me. I swear I actually stuck to them. Beer, sweat and olive oil. Not a nice combination. 

Almost a month down...

In four days I will have been living in Madrid for one month.

Does that make me a local yet or am I still a blow-in?

After a couple of rough weeks, I'm finally beginning to feel like things are falling into place bit by bit. I'm still not there, but I'm getting there.

The first couple of weeks were a lot harder than I thought they were going to be. I'm not saying that I miss home and less now than I did 4 weeks ago, but I'm beginning to deal with it a bit better!

It's hard getting settled into a city and getting to know your surroundings when you're in college 5 days a week, working in the evenings and also working at weekends. I work in an Irish sports bar that opens to show the early rugby games at 5:30am. I'm lucky that I've never had to do one of the 4am starts, but I have had to do some 6:30am ones- which means getting up at 4:45am since I live an hour away from the bar by Metro. Not ideal, but it pays the rent (just barely! The minimum wage in Spain is a joke!)

I'm getting used to the language too- eavesdropping is still an impossibility, but when people speak to me it doesn't feel like a game of Charades anymore. Trying to mime out what you want in a restaurant can put you off your food (and food in Madrid is difficult enough to stomach at times!)

There are still things that I don't understand about the culture (obsessions with bidets and crazies- refer to previous blog) but in time it might come to me!


Last Sunday myself and Yas finished work at 3:30pm so we decided to go somewhere to get out of the house and out of the bar. We headed to Casa de Campo which is Madrid's biggest park. The Phoenix Park has nothing on this baby! The place is incredibly beautiful and it was lovely to get away from the city for a few hours. On the way in we walked past Madrid's biggest zoo. We continued walking around the edge and realised that you can watch the dolphin shows through the trees if you don't want to pay (I'm sure they don't encourage this...) and a little bit further on, you can see into the baboon enclosure- why pay €18.60??
Instead of crows, the place was full of little green parrots (the same kind of ones that we have outside the college- yes there are parrots outside my college.) We walked for miles and barely covered any of the park- I'm dying to get up there for a proper hike! As well as the zoo, it has a boating lake and a theme park (Jack, you better be ready to get your scream on! Forget about laryngitis!)

One of the hardest things about doing an Erasmus year is missing out on things that are happening at home. Seeing friends' Facebook updates about the great night that they just had, or talking to people on the phone about funny things that happened. I'm going to miss my little sister's birthday on the 2nd October and I feel awful about that! Sorry Jess! At the moment Daddy is sick too and I'm going to be over here while he's having an operation done. He chose the perfect time to lose a kidney!

On the other hand though, you start to get excited about the little things again. Every day I'm counting down to when the next person to visit is! Jack in 7 days, Lydia in 42 days... Andrea and Jess, whenever you book your flights I'll start counting! You too Mammy! 

I'm still trying master the small things- like travel- not time travel, but just regular travel. The Metro is fine between the hours of 6am and 1am- but getting to and from work in the mornings and on the late evenings is a nightmare! The bus drops me off miles from home and without the GPRS navigation system on my phone I can't get back again. I tried to get a taxi to bring us to work on Sunday morning and almost messed that up too! I had to ring 11 different numbers before I finally got an answer. The guy agreed to pick us up at 6am so that we could be in work for half past. At 5:40am I looked out the window and he was parked outside. I can only assume he had the meter running... When we went downstairs to get in the taxi we realised that there was a second one waiting for us too... I have no idea why but it started a taxi fight. In the end we hopped into the first one and headed to work. I reckon he gave us a tour of the city before he finally dropped us off- costing €16.80. I miss €6 Maynooth taxis!

Another thing that I'm missing about Ireland is the rubbish television. I tried to set up Sky Go on my laptop last night (simply for an Idiot Abroad 2!) and after about an hour of trying, it told me that I can't watch it unless I'm in Ireland or England! Bleh!

After a month of myself and Yas living in our lovely, big, girly apartment on our own, our new room mate moves in today. I'm due to start work in an hour so I won't get home until about 2am tonight so I'll have no idea what they're like! We've gotten so used to just being the two of us that another person is going to be in our little home! Let alone another dude! 

The toilet seat is not being left up. Just putting it out there. 

Lady Suerte in Las Suertes

At home, I was a believer that you make your own luck. Over here however, I disagree- everything is based on timing and good fortune.

Men, I pity you, I really do. I am so glad that I am a hetrosexual female and that I don't have to deal with a woman's mood swings, simply because one day with Lady Luck was enough to turn me off ladies forever.

On Sunday morning I was supposed to be at work at 7:30am- yes that's right, 7:30am in a bar. An Irish sports bar to be precise, because there are people that are actually crazy enough to be in a bar for the 5:30am rugby matches. I don't understand.

In order to get to work in plenty of time, I was at the Metro station at 6:40am. Normally it takes about 30 minutes to get to work but I like to leave early just to be sure that I'll get there on time. The Metro starts at 6am and usually there are trains about every three minutes.

I waited at the stop for over 15 minutes until a train eventually arrived. We all headed to open the doors and they wouldn't budge. For 5 minutes the train sat staring at us on the platform, taunting us with its bright handles and plastic seats. Then it left. Empty.

The middle-aged business man standing beside me wasn't too enamoured by the experience and stood shouting at the empty tracks and repeatedly spitting on them (what did I say about Madrid loving its Crazies?). I didn't have the heart to tell him that it wasn't helping the situation.

Eventually a train arrived and I got as far as the Operá stop where I needed to change to Banco de España. Again, the trains usually arrive every three minutes- we were waiting another 15 minutes for one while 4 separate trains all headed in the opposite direction!

Eventually I got to work and the day went fine. I was due to finish at 4, then realised that the Dublin match was about to start- no hope of leaving on time then!

I eventually left work at 6pm and decided to head out to the big shopping centre near Las Suertes because it contained (wait for it....) PRIMARK! I needed a new pair of trousers for work since the ones that I had bought originally were labelled wrong and so I spent my days trying to pull them up as they were hanging around my ankles.

I found out how to get to La Gavia shopping centre and eventually (after about an hour's travelling) made it out there. As I got to the front door of is breath-taking shopping centre, I realised that it was Sunday. The whole city practically closes on a Sunday- including big shopping centres.

The journey was not a wasted one however as IKEA was just around the corner! I went to get a bite to eat- and the restaurant was closed. Starving and a little bit miffed, I started walking around, and realised after a few minutes that I was going the wrong way around the shop. Spanish people don't like this...
In the end it was so difficult for me to get around that way that I didn't bother looking at anything and headed straight out of there- and then realised that the restaurant was open!

Had a bite to eat and then went back to looking at the downstairs place where all the goodies are! Bought a few bits, then arrived home and realised I had only bought one pillow case instead of the two that I needed.

Headed to bed with my new pillows and slept soundly for the first time that I arrived in the country!

NB: Never plan anything on a Sunday- I repeat, NEVER and NOTHING!

Methinks it's list time!- Things that Madrileños fecking love!

Your passport number: I am so sick of people asking for my passport number. I seems like you need your passport number to buy a bloody carton of milk! If you are stopped by the police and asked for your DNI card (National Identity Number) or your passport, you can be arrested on the spot if you don't have it. Petty much?

Staring: Madrileños fecking love staring. On the metro, in restaurants, on the street, in class- everywhere! Even if you make eye contact they won't stop!

Jamón: I swear to God you can buy Jamón flavoured crisps over here. That's going too far. Every time I turn around I'm walking into a rotting pig's leg hanging from the ceiling. They smell like dog nuts (the biscuity, nutty things that you mix in with their wet food- not the other nuts).

Crazies: Les encantan los crazies! They are actually everywhere! Every time I walk down the street, someone shouts at me. I was beginning to take it personally until I realised they were shouting at everyone. They love congregating on the metro- so watch out! The other day we were sitting outside Starbucks and a guy wandered through the tables about 5 or 6 times, shouting about capitalism, then he kicked over a bin. Two minutes later, he returned, picked up the bin, picked up an ashtray, spat on the table and then put the ashtray back on top of it. Gentleman. 

Beer & alcohol: They drink beer for breakfast. No joke. You can buy cañas of beer with your desayuno. We were in a bookshop today and they were selling gin. Gin in a bookshop. They even had tonic and lemons too! Gin for the win!

Bright trousers: Someone needs to tell these men that bright coloured trousers are not attractive, especially when worn with loafers without socks. 

Saps. 

Men with bad haircuts: They're everywhere. Barber college, my arse. More like clown college. 

Hard bras: Cups of steel! Well, not quite, but they're really hard and uncomfortable! And no one should have that much padding in a bra!

Fruit & Veg shops: They can't get enough of them.

Olive oil: Like seriously guys, 40 calories in one tesapoon of oil.

Hating vegetarians: Spain is ridiculously difficult for vegetarians! During Franco's regime, vegetarianism was discouraged and any veggie restaurants were shut down. We went for lunch the other day and were told that we could only take the table as long as we were ordering the Menu del Día- grand for me, but there was nothing for veggies at all! That was Yas gone! In the end it cost her more for a little bit of iceberg lettuce, a few olives, some tomato, chips, a coffee and a drink than it did for my Menu del Día- a starter, chicken breast with salad and chips, a drink, bread and a dessert! If you are travelling to Spain on a veggie diet, be prepared that it is going to be hard! A lot of their veg is also cooked in animal fat and a lot of their pastries contain animal fat too!

Meat: They really love their meat- especially if it still has a face or feet. Expect bones. They feckin love them. 

Long hair, beautiful women and huge feet: All the woman seem to be about 6 foot tall, tanned, thin and have flowing locks. They also have massive feet. On my quest to find a pair of shoes today, the only sizes that I could find were 40s or 41s and I'm a 38. FAIL. 

Laser Hair Removal: They do it everywhere! I'm pretty sure you could have it done in the bars if you were really desperate. 

PDAs: Public Displays of Affection- perhaps that's just jealousy talking. 

Smoking: Even the children smoke!

Bidets: I'm of the opinion that whatever you want to do in your own home, you're more than welcome to do it. However, on a trip to the public bathroom in the college library the other day I came across this beside the sinks. 

Sure who needs privacy when you're having an auld scrub? I'm pretty sure the bars are to make sure that no one falls in and gets lost.

Taking their time: I've never seen a less motivated race of people when it comes to bureaucracy. I've spent two of the last three weeks queuing. 

Hand gestures: Don't stand too close to a Spaniard who is telling a story or you might just get a smack. 

Shouting: Sure why talk when you can shout? I'm pretty sure that everyone on the Metro wants to hear about your aunt's verrucas. It's not like I'm trying to have my own conversation or anything!

God: I don't know if it's religiousness or laziness but the city shuts down on a Sunday. God forbid you're gagging for a cuppa scald and you run out of (crap) milk!

Cola Cao: I mean really, who goes to the pub and orders a glass of chocolate milk? The Madrileños apparently. 

Bank charges: I think I'm getting charged every time I walk past the bank on the corner.

LIST TIME!

I had a bit of a rough day today- realised that this isn't a holiday anymore and that I won't be going home until Christmas.


98 days
2359 hours
141568 minutes
8494130 seconds


To take my mind off of the people that I'm missing (had a bit of an auld Skry- Skype cry- with them earlier) I decided to make a list of all the material things that I miss about home. 

Things I miss about home




Tea- I'm getting used to the fact that it is impossible to get a daycent cup of scald in this country. Mammy Feaheny came to my rescue though by sending us enough teabags to last the year. *Yay* However, we are still missing a crucial ingredient- fresh, low fat milk. We can get full-fat fresh milk or UHT low-fat milk. They're just not the same. 

Fake tan-I've come to realise that I am officially the palest person in this whole country. No joke. At home I could get around that by Sally-Hansening up. Here however, it's a whole different kettle of jamón. My upper half is grand- but my legs look like I've got a touch of albinism. I went to buy tan yesterday, searched half of the city and eventually found a bottle- let's just say bar work isn't going to cover the cost of it. 
Looks like I'll be going pale. 

Facewash- refer to previous blog.


A strong Irish accent- never have I wanted to hear the word 'quare' so badly. 


Knowing what is on my plate- In Spain, a filete isn't a fillet. Nothing is as it seems. When you think you're ordering calamari, you might actually be ordering baby octopus (which actually isn't as bad as it sounds. If it wasn't for the little voice in my head screaming, "You're eating a baby octopus!" then I might have actually been able to finish them.)

A slight breeze- apparently they don't have these in Spain. 

Eavesdropping- it's impossible at best when you have no idea what the person is saying. 

Heels- no one wears heels. If you see a person in heels, they're probably old and have cankles and their heels are probably an inch at best. They have loads of them in the shops but I seem to be the only person wearing them. 

An hourly wage rate- I just got a job in an Irish bar. When I was asked how much I'd be making, I was told that if I was working full-time (I'll be working about 20 hours) then I'd get between €900 and €1000 per month and that my tips would work out at roughly €75-100. I have no idea how much money I'm going to be earning. Budgeting is a bitch. 

The third pin on plugs- I'm always terrified in case I electrocute myself when I'm plugging things in or out. 

Nash's red lemonade- I don't even drink it that much at home but it's a comfort knowing it's there if I ever get a craving for it. 

Regular pillows- I don't understand Spanish pillows. I have a double bed and I can only buy a single, long pillow for it. I'm the kind of person who cuddles one pillow and lies on the other one- so I need two regular pillows. When you're sharing a bed with another person who does the same thing, things get a little techy. Who gets the pillow? 

Duvets- obviously when it's too warm to sleep, I don't need a duvet. That's a good thing though, because I don't even have the option to buy one! All I can buy are sheets or throws. I just want a duvet. 

People that don't spit all the time- Even on the metro. 

Television- obviously Madrid has televisions, but ours doesn't work. The landlord was going to get a technician over to have a look at it but I told him not to bother- I wouldn't be able to understand it anyway. Obviously I can catch up with programmes like Trollied on the laptop, but it just isn't the same. 

My doggy- I love my little Toto but she just wouldn't fit in over here. Literally. The only dogs that we've seen can fit into handbags- and not my kind of handbag that is so big that you develop back pains from carrying it around, but little teeny handbags. People also seem to colour coordinate their dogs. And, they are ALL purebred! I'm dying to see a mongrel!

Last but definitely not least... I said the blog was supposed to be about to be about material things to take my mind off everything else, but I miss my Jack, my mammy, my daddy, my Jessie, my Paula, my Dre-Dre, my Emzy, my Colin and everyone else who keeps me sane!